That I want thee, only thee ---
let my heart repeat without end.
All desires that distract me, day and night,
are false and empty to the core.
As the night keeps hidden in its gloom the petition for light,
even thus in the depth of my unconsciousness rings the cry
---`I want thee, only thee'.
As the storm still seeks its end in peace
when it strikes against peace with all its might,
even thus my rebellion strikes against thy love
and still its cry is
---`I want thee, only thee'
From Rabindranath Tagore's Gitanjali
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
nice one
The night has a thousand eyes,
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one:
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.
-- Francis William Bourdillon
And the day but one;
Yet the light of the bright world dies
With the dying sun.
The mind has a thousand eyes,
And the heart but one:
Yet the light of a whole life dies
When love is done.
-- Francis William Bourdillon
jeevan nahi mara karta hai
One of my favourite poems..
Got it after days of googling....
I can perhaps comprehend the meaning of the lines only now, though this was learnt in the high school
Chip Chip ashru bahaane waalon
Moti vyarth lutane waalon !
Kuch sapnon ke mar jane se
jeevan nahin mara karta hai
Sapnaa kya hai ?
Nayan sez par,Soya hua aankh ka paani
Aur tootna hai uska jyon
Jage kachchi neend jawaniGeelee umar banaane walon!
Doobe bina nahaane waalon
Kuch pani ke bah jane se
saawan nahin mara karta hai
Mala bikhar gayi to kya hai
Khud hi hal ho gayi samasyaa
Aansoo gar neelaam huye
toSamjho poori huyi tapasyaa
Roothe divas manaane walon!
Phati kameez silaane waalon!
Kuch deepon ke bujh jaane se
aangan nahin mara karta hai
Khota kuch bhi nahin yahan par
Kewal zild badaltee pothee
Jaise raat utaar chandani
Pehne subah dhoop ki dhoti
Vastra badal kar aane waalon !
Chaal badalkar jaane waalon!
Chand Khilounon ke khone se
bachpan nahin maraa karta hai
Laakhon baar gagriyaan phooteen
Shikan na aayi panghat par
Lakhon baar kishtiyaan doobeen
Chahal-pehal wo hi hai tat par
Tam ki umra badhaane waalon!
Lau ki aayu ghatane waalon !
Laakh kare patjhad koshish par
upvan nahin maraa kartaa hai
Loot liya maali ne upvan
Luti na lekin gandh phool ki
Toofaanon tak ne cheda
parKhidki band na huyi dhool kee
Nafrat gale lagaane waalon!
Sab par dhool udaane waalon
Kuch mukhdon ki naaraazee se darpan nahin maraa karta hai
Chip Chip ashru bahaane waalon
Moti vyarth lutane waalon !
Kuch sapnon ke mar jane se
jeevan nahin mara karta hai
Gopal Das 'Neeraj'
Got it after days of googling....
I can perhaps comprehend the meaning of the lines only now, though this was learnt in the high school
Chip Chip ashru bahaane waalon
Moti vyarth lutane waalon !
Kuch sapnon ke mar jane se
jeevan nahin mara karta hai
Sapnaa kya hai ?
Nayan sez par,Soya hua aankh ka paani
Aur tootna hai uska jyon
Jage kachchi neend jawaniGeelee umar banaane walon!
Doobe bina nahaane waalon
Kuch pani ke bah jane se
saawan nahin mara karta hai
Mala bikhar gayi to kya hai
Khud hi hal ho gayi samasyaa
Aansoo gar neelaam huye
toSamjho poori huyi tapasyaa
Roothe divas manaane walon!
Phati kameez silaane waalon!
Kuch deepon ke bujh jaane se
aangan nahin mara karta hai
Khota kuch bhi nahin yahan par
Kewal zild badaltee pothee
Jaise raat utaar chandani
Pehne subah dhoop ki dhoti
Vastra badal kar aane waalon !
Chaal badalkar jaane waalon!
Chand Khilounon ke khone se
bachpan nahin maraa karta hai
Laakhon baar gagriyaan phooteen
Shikan na aayi panghat par
Lakhon baar kishtiyaan doobeen
Chahal-pehal wo hi hai tat par
Tam ki umra badhaane waalon!
Lau ki aayu ghatane waalon !
Laakh kare patjhad koshish par
upvan nahin maraa kartaa hai
Loot liya maali ne upvan
Luti na lekin gandh phool ki
Toofaanon tak ne cheda
parKhidki band na huyi dhool kee
Nafrat gale lagaane waalon!
Sab par dhool udaane waalon
Kuch mukhdon ki naaraazee se darpan nahin maraa karta hai
Chip Chip ashru bahaane waalon
Moti vyarth lutane waalon !
Kuch sapnon ke mar jane se
jeevan nahin mara karta hai
Gopal Das 'Neeraj'
Friday, September 26, 2008
Listening to the Whispers Within
Listening to the Whispers Within
By Michelle C. Ustaszeski
Beginning in our younger years, and reinforced time and time again, we have been encouraged to reach for the stars and to follow our dreams, yet so few of us actually voyage through such a beautiful, satisfying, and difficult journey to its end. It is the journey of finding our soul's desire, recognizing and following signs along the way, while listening only to the songs and the harmony of what our hearts sing. It is allowing our souls to find their way back to where they belong. to a place where we can exhale and rest in peace once our time here has come to an end. We allow guilt to overcome, fear to overwhelm, time to discourage, and we give permission to our daily routines and current circumstances to imprison our own fate. We deny ourselves from reaching our own destinies and from the true happiness that we all deserve.
We learn many lessons throughout our lives. Some of these lessons may interfere, challenge, or overcome other, more important lessons. We have been told that focusing on ourselves, our own needs, and our own desires can be an act of selfishness. We've learned that pleasing and thinking of others before ourselves is an act of heroism. Perhaps we feel that following our own hearts and dreams, doing what we love to do, and aiming for such pleasures is being selfish, but it's not. Perhaps we feel ashamed for climbing the ladder of success when it demands change and possibly a level of discomfort for those we love the most who travel this journey along with us, but we shouldn't. And perhaps we feel we are to blame because with each step, each reach, we must leave something or even someone behind, but we aren't.
While letting go of guilt and giving ourselves permission to follow our hearts, we have to also be aware that fear dictates our every move. The fear of failure may be universal, but so is the fact that if we do not try, we are giving ourselves a life sentence of nothingness. a life where we will simply exist. Although it can be frightening to move forward into the unknown armed with nothing more than faith and to gamble with the lives, people, and things we treasure the most, it is much more frightening to be aware that if we don't, the fear that is holding us back today will transform itself into regret later in life. The fear we experience should be regarded and compared to nothing more than a mother's tender, loving, and protective embrace. Once she sees your strength, your courage, and how well you have learned to fly, she will set you free.
In a world where instant gratification is becoming more and more rampant, the issue of time itself can become a discouraging factor when imagining how long our journeys may take. Each dream and journey could take years, even a complete lifetime to obtain and travel to. Time is essential to the process as there are necessary experiences that we will need to endure and valuable lessons that we will have to extract in order to reach our destination. Do not allow the uncontrollable to discourage you. Just as a mother cannot rush the birth of her miracle until it has gone through each of its necessary stages, we must let our days unfold and go through each of their own stages. If we continue to nurture our dreams, we too, will hold our own miracles.
What is in front of us today may actually be our hearts most dangerous keeper... a master in disguise, concealing the truth while imprisoning us within an easy dwelling and comforting zone. Although our prison cells are made up of nothing more than a layer of haze placed before our eyes only, for all of our other senses know, we remain motionless as if surrounded by an indestructible barricade. The circumstances we live in and our daily routines hinder our dreams from moving forward and prevent our desires from taking action without even being aware of it. We sometimes confuse an eventful life with a fulfilled one. We allow our days to interfere with our destinies by focusing most or all of our emotions and actions on insignificant and irrelevant matters. We are all born with dreams and desires and have places we want to go. Do not let the longing to find a place where you can stop and rest cause you to settle down short of your destination. Extr! act your lessons and continue on with your journey.
We need to step away from the world we live in from time to time, sit in silence, and hear what our hearts and souls are whispering within us. We need to remove ourselves from the everyday sameness and think about where it is that we want to go. We need to follow our hearts by closing our eyes and becoming aware of our inner surroundings. We all have an imaginary sanctuary that we travel to when we close our eyes to rest at night or when the world we live in is not in harmony with whom we really are or who we really need to be. Why not close your eyes, visit that place as often as you can, and listen to each and every whisper. so that one day. when you do open your eyes, you will know exactly where to go and how to get there. Then you, your mind, your heart, and your soul can finally all rest as one.
Go now, sit back in silence, and listen to the whispers within.
By Michelle C. Ustaszeski
Beginning in our younger years, and reinforced time and time again, we have been encouraged to reach for the stars and to follow our dreams, yet so few of us actually voyage through such a beautiful, satisfying, and difficult journey to its end. It is the journey of finding our soul's desire, recognizing and following signs along the way, while listening only to the songs and the harmony of what our hearts sing. It is allowing our souls to find their way back to where they belong. to a place where we can exhale and rest in peace once our time here has come to an end. We allow guilt to overcome, fear to overwhelm, time to discourage, and we give permission to our daily routines and current circumstances to imprison our own fate. We deny ourselves from reaching our own destinies and from the true happiness that we all deserve.
We learn many lessons throughout our lives. Some of these lessons may interfere, challenge, or overcome other, more important lessons. We have been told that focusing on ourselves, our own needs, and our own desires can be an act of selfishness. We've learned that pleasing and thinking of others before ourselves is an act of heroism. Perhaps we feel that following our own hearts and dreams, doing what we love to do, and aiming for such pleasures is being selfish, but it's not. Perhaps we feel ashamed for climbing the ladder of success when it demands change and possibly a level of discomfort for those we love the most who travel this journey along with us, but we shouldn't. And perhaps we feel we are to blame because with each step, each reach, we must leave something or even someone behind, but we aren't.
While letting go of guilt and giving ourselves permission to follow our hearts, we have to also be aware that fear dictates our every move. The fear of failure may be universal, but so is the fact that if we do not try, we are giving ourselves a life sentence of nothingness. a life where we will simply exist. Although it can be frightening to move forward into the unknown armed with nothing more than faith and to gamble with the lives, people, and things we treasure the most, it is much more frightening to be aware that if we don't, the fear that is holding us back today will transform itself into regret later in life. The fear we experience should be regarded and compared to nothing more than a mother's tender, loving, and protective embrace. Once she sees your strength, your courage, and how well you have learned to fly, she will set you free.
In a world where instant gratification is becoming more and more rampant, the issue of time itself can become a discouraging factor when imagining how long our journeys may take. Each dream and journey could take years, even a complete lifetime to obtain and travel to. Time is essential to the process as there are necessary experiences that we will need to endure and valuable lessons that we will have to extract in order to reach our destination. Do not allow the uncontrollable to discourage you. Just as a mother cannot rush the birth of her miracle until it has gone through each of its necessary stages, we must let our days unfold and go through each of their own stages. If we continue to nurture our dreams, we too, will hold our own miracles.
What is in front of us today may actually be our hearts most dangerous keeper... a master in disguise, concealing the truth while imprisoning us within an easy dwelling and comforting zone. Although our prison cells are made up of nothing more than a layer of haze placed before our eyes only, for all of our other senses know, we remain motionless as if surrounded by an indestructible barricade. The circumstances we live in and our daily routines hinder our dreams from moving forward and prevent our desires from taking action without even being aware of it. We sometimes confuse an eventful life with a fulfilled one. We allow our days to interfere with our destinies by focusing most or all of our emotions and actions on insignificant and irrelevant matters. We are all born with dreams and desires and have places we want to go. Do not let the longing to find a place where you can stop and rest cause you to settle down short of your destination. Extr! act your lessons and continue on with your journey.
We need to step away from the world we live in from time to time, sit in silence, and hear what our hearts and souls are whispering within us. We need to remove ourselves from the everyday sameness and think about where it is that we want to go. We need to follow our hearts by closing our eyes and becoming aware of our inner surroundings. We all have an imaginary sanctuary that we travel to when we close our eyes to rest at night or when the world we live in is not in harmony with whom we really are or who we really need to be. Why not close your eyes, visit that place as often as you can, and listen to each and every whisper. so that one day. when you do open your eyes, you will know exactly where to go and how to get there. Then you, your mind, your heart, and your soul can finally all rest as one.
Go now, sit back in silence, and listen to the whispers within.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The Duo - in action at School
Another of those funny incidents which always lingers in my mind..
I had to write about this one..
This is something from my school days..
I think it was in the 8th or 9th grade.
I had joined MESRRS only in the 7th standard,but by now I had created a reputation for myself and of course had secured the companionship of the daredevils of the class.
The other person involved in this situation is Soum.
We were like the 'dadas' of the class (or so we thought ).I believe we were nothing like the other girls. We were very tomboyish and always ready to pick fights with the Boy-dadas.
One day something did come up involving one of the guys(one of the above mentioned dada.)and some classmate of ours(a girl).We being the saviours of the oppressed, the messiahs of the downtroddens, naturally interfered.
"Get the hell out of here.It's none of your buisiness"
Raj(name changed) was right ofcourse!But how could we abandon our refugee
The verbal combat prevailed for some time and then the silent warfare ensued.
Hostle looks and tense breaths said it all!!I still have the picture of Rajs face all red and quivering with anger.
Maybe for 10 minutes,or less, both the parties went on unrelenting.
I was on the verge of tears.But I could'nt afford to lose.Had a reputation to maintain!!!I dared not look at Soum. I knew she was handling it well.She is tough!!
After some more tense moments Raj stormed out of the class.
"Whew!That was close."
"Da, I almost cried", said soum.
Perhaps,that's how best friends are..
Mission accomplished, we went on, saving our skins for the day...
Epilogue:
We and Raj became good friends .
One day over normal chat the topic changed to the above mentioned incident. And indeed Raj was surprised to learn how close to tears we were then...
I had to write about this one..
This is something from my school days..
I think it was in the 8th or 9th grade.
I had joined MESRRS only in the 7th standard,but by now I had created a reputation for myself and of course had secured the companionship of the daredevils of the class.
The other person involved in this situation is Soum.
We were like the 'dadas' of the class (or so we thought ).I believe we were nothing like the other girls. We were very tomboyish and always ready to pick fights with the Boy-dadas.
One day something did come up involving one of the guys(one of the above mentioned dada.)and some classmate of ours(a girl).We being the saviours of the oppressed, the messiahs of the downtroddens, naturally interfered.
"Get the hell out of here.It's none of your buisiness"
Raj(name changed) was right ofcourse!But how could we abandon our refugee
The verbal combat prevailed for some time and then the silent warfare ensued.
Hostle looks and tense breaths said it all!!I still have the picture of Rajs face all red and quivering with anger.
Maybe for 10 minutes,or less, both the parties went on unrelenting.
I was on the verge of tears.But I could'nt afford to lose.Had a reputation to maintain!!!I dared not look at Soum. I knew she was handling it well.She is tough!!
After some more tense moments Raj stormed out of the class.
"Whew!That was close."
"Da, I almost cried", said soum.
Perhaps,that's how best friends are..
Mission accomplished, we went on, saving our skins for the day...
Epilogue:
We and Raj became good friends .
One day over normal chat the topic changed to the above mentioned incident. And indeed Raj was surprised to learn how close to tears we were then...
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
( I ) Miss(ed) Calls
It's always a pleasure when someone thinks of you and even more when they let you know that.(Well perhaps not always!!!)
So When ever my phone rings to tell me I have a call or a message it is obvious that a smile sprouts on my face.Perhaps I should slightly rephrase this statement also.'A smile used to sprout on my face' would be better .The first reason being that I hardly get any calls or messages these days and the second one, only vodafone or icici take that trouble.
Yesterday i forgot my phone at home.(I attribute it entirely to the complete amnesia which devoured my senses at that moment when i was leaving home.)
Initially i was worried how i would survive the day.
Though it has no use these days, it's a relief when I have my mobile in my hands.
In fact I even prefer to look time in my mobile than in my wrist watch.
Just an act of habit!
And moreover, I had 2 meetings in the day!!!;-)
But,perhaps atleast today I could see a few missed calls and messages when i reach home.
The thought kept me going through the day.(I still don't understand why I expected my incoming calls to increase because I left the mobile at home.)
So it was with great expectations that i went home and checked my mobile for messages and missed calls.
But, as always there were not many,just 8 missed calls and 3 messges in the entire 12 hours i were away from it.And of these 4 were from my friends (in the next cubicle,probably calling to go out for lunch or tea!!) and 4 were unknown landline numbers, some bank or insurance company i'm sure.;-(
Perhaps Nobody else is as jobless as I am!!!!
So When ever my phone rings to tell me I have a call or a message it is obvious that a smile sprouts on my face.Perhaps I should slightly rephrase this statement also.'A smile used to sprout on my face' would be better .The first reason being that I hardly get any calls or messages these days and the second one, only vodafone or icici take that trouble.
Yesterday i forgot my phone at home.(I attribute it entirely to the complete amnesia which devoured my senses at that moment when i was leaving home.)
Initially i was worried how i would survive the day.
Though it has no use these days, it's a relief when I have my mobile in my hands.
In fact I even prefer to look time in my mobile than in my wrist watch.
Just an act of habit!
And moreover, I had 2 meetings in the day!!!;-)
But,perhaps atleast today I could see a few missed calls and messages when i reach home.
The thought kept me going through the day.(I still don't understand why I expected my incoming calls to increase because I left the mobile at home.)
So it was with great expectations that i went home and checked my mobile for messages and missed calls.
But, as always there were not many,just 8 missed calls and 3 messges in the entire 12 hours i were away from it.And of these 4 were from my friends (in the next cubicle,probably calling to go out for lunch or tea!!) and 4 were unknown landline numbers, some bank or insurance company i'm sure.;-(
Perhaps Nobody else is as jobless as I am!!!!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Insanity
Blood soaked hands reach out from nowhere
Long long gory fingers
crawling,creeping, probing.
A Stifled scream,a half held breath,
the music is in the air!
That sardonic laugh,
echoing,reverbrating
They are after me.
They have teamed up with my shadow
But,Hey!Hey!
I'm a hollow man
You won't find what you seek.
I'm void, I'm free
I've deceived you with my smile
You thought you know me
But no,I'm a stranger
I've killed myself.
Long long gory fingers
crawling,creeping, probing.
A Stifled scream,a half held breath,
the music is in the air!
That sardonic laugh,
echoing,reverbrating
They are after me.
They have teamed up with my shadow
But,Hey!Hey!
I'm a hollow man
You won't find what you seek.
I'm void, I'm free
I've deceived you with my smile
You thought you know me
But no,I'm a stranger
I've killed myself.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
The silver spoon
This happened to 2 of my friends while onsite.
The names have been changed for purely security reasons!!!
Venue: Pennymarkt,Hildesheim,Germany
Cast: Tuttu and Kuttu and a spoon.
One day Tuttu and Kuttu went for shopping, the normal stuff-groceries and stuff for the coming week.As usual after the shopping and billing, tuttu was packing the day's loot in her bag and kuttu was helping her with the same.It is then that the protagonist of our story, the 'silver' spoon, leaped out of tuttu's bag and safely secured it's place somewhere between the trash cans.
Action!
The hunt begins!!
Tuttu and Kuttu started the search for the spoon.My God!If the house owner finds out that a spoon is missing!!Tuttu needed no more encouragement than that.After frantically scanning the area, finally it was spotted.But there it lay under the trash cans, beyond either of their reach!
'Chechi, get it with that rod at the counter'Kuttu suggested.
Even before tuttu could take a look at 'the rod at the counter' ,kuttu had taken the 'Next customer please !'divider, a cuboidal object which could help in the situation,from the billing counter and started her excavations.
Distracted by all this the cashier stopped the billing and volunteered to help.Our friends tried explaining the situation. Not understanding a single word, the cashier queried amongst her customers for someone who knew English.
A gentleman in the queue shot his hand up.But unfortunately neither could he make out their tale of the missing spoon.But every one present were assured that these ladies had lost something precious.
The whole shop now joined in the hunt for the missing prize .
After a few minutes of hard work and a shower in dust, the cashier lady was able to move the trash cans and all the adjoining stuff.And still nothing precious came into view .
'The tissue paper'tuttu said..
What!!We had done all this for a tissue paper.
Tuttu read the expression on the onlooker's and most importantly on the cashier's face.
'Its under the tissue paper'Tuttu put in, before their expressions transformed into exasperation .
But on seeing the treasure under the tissue, I don't think their expressions would have changed much!!!
If only someone could understand English or atleast our friends knew the german word for spoon!!!
The names have been changed for purely security reasons!!!
Venue: Pennymarkt,Hildesheim,Germany
Cast: Tuttu and Kuttu and a spoon.
One day Tuttu and Kuttu went for shopping, the normal stuff-groceries and stuff for the coming week.As usual after the shopping and billing, tuttu was packing the day's loot in her bag and kuttu was helping her with the same.It is then that the protagonist of our story, the 'silver' spoon, leaped out of tuttu's bag and safely secured it's place somewhere between the trash cans.
Action!
The hunt begins!!
Tuttu and Kuttu started the search for the spoon.My God!If the house owner finds out that a spoon is missing!!Tuttu needed no more encouragement than that.After frantically scanning the area, finally it was spotted.But there it lay under the trash cans, beyond either of their reach!
'Chechi, get it with that rod at the counter'Kuttu suggested.
Even before tuttu could take a look at 'the rod at the counter' ,kuttu had taken the 'Next customer please !'divider, a cuboidal object which could help in the situation,from the billing counter and started her excavations.
Distracted by all this the cashier stopped the billing and volunteered to help.Our friends tried explaining the situation. Not understanding a single word, the cashier queried amongst her customers for someone who knew English.
A gentleman in the queue shot his hand up.But unfortunately neither could he make out their tale of the missing spoon.But every one present were assured that these ladies had lost something precious.
The whole shop now joined in the hunt for the missing prize .
After a few minutes of hard work and a shower in dust, the cashier lady was able to move the trash cans and all the adjoining stuff.And still nothing precious came into view .
'The tissue paper'tuttu said..
What!!We had done all this for a tissue paper.
Tuttu read the expression on the onlooker's and most importantly on the cashier's face.
'Its under the tissue paper'Tuttu put in, before their expressions transformed into exasperation .
But on seeing the treasure under the tissue, I don't think their expressions would have changed much!!!
If only someone could understand English or atleast our friends knew the german word for spoon!!!
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Ode to a sweet friendship..
I chanced upon a friend's profile in Orkut.
No reason i would have checked her profile had she not given an update.
She is one of my closest friends,some one with whom i have had many a memorable moments back in college days ,and like many others ,she is also now miles apart from me. But, only in presence, not to my heart .
Hey friend,
Do you remember...
those sleepless nights on the hostel terrace where we have sat and chatted on exam eves!
those late night combined studies when we dozed off almost immidiately!
those college days we have together attended,howling and shouting and cheering"Tatta Tatta tatta tta...eyya hua .."
those hostel days we made memorable with our skits .
those tears I have showered on your shoulders!
those endless gossips we shared!
And the list could go on..
And how could i ever forget your thrissur accent!!!;-)
I hardly could catch a word the first time we spoke!!
Well!!Those silly flakes of memories rained over me.But look at where life has taken me!!It needed an orkut update for me to remember my friend!!Have i become so busy in life or am i deliberately putting myself away from these memories lest they should make me emotional?
(She was not my classmate, but a batchmate and hostel mate.
So no bunking classes together and copying assignments and tests.
This will probably end up as another blog, starring me and my partner in crime.God!That's a lot to tell..)
No reason i would have checked her profile had she not given an update.
She is one of my closest friends,some one with whom i have had many a memorable moments back in college days ,and like many others ,she is also now miles apart from me. But, only in presence, not to my heart .
Hey friend,
Do you remember...
those sleepless nights on the hostel terrace where we have sat and chatted on exam eves!
those late night combined studies when we dozed off almost immidiately!
those college days we have together attended,howling and shouting and cheering"Tatta Tatta tatta tta...eyya hua .."
those hostel days we made memorable with our skits .
those tears I have showered on your shoulders!
those endless gossips we shared!
And the list could go on..
And how could i ever forget your thrissur accent!!!;-)
I hardly could catch a word the first time we spoke!!
Well!!Those silly flakes of memories rained over me.But look at where life has taken me!!It needed an orkut update for me to remember my friend!!Have i become so busy in life or am i deliberately putting myself away from these memories lest they should make me emotional?
(She was not my classmate, but a batchmate and hostel mate.
So no bunking classes together and copying assignments and tests.
This will probably end up as another blog, starring me and my partner in crime.God!That's a lot to tell..)
Friday, July 18, 2008
An evening by your side...........
The blazing sun sank over a hazy horizon.It was a beautiful sunset.
They sat there enjoying the beauty of the moment,enjoying each other's presence.
She was happy,very happy.This was a dream come true.Destiny or fate or the God whom she called upon every day had bought him next to her today.
She dared not look at him.She was apprehensive of facing her only dream. She was apprehensive of looking at the face that she had seen only with her heart all these years.
Silence..that vast ocean that had engulfed their lives prevailed.
Silence could speak and they had always spoken in silence.
The same silence with which they had acknowledged their feelings,the same silence with which she went away from his life, the same silence with which he watched her leave,unable to hold her back.
She wanted to hold his hands,to lock her fingers in his.But she dared not.What if that offended him?What if he got up and left?
He took her hands in his.Her heart skipped a beat.She looked into his eyes.She saw her face in them.
"Why did you leave me?"His eyes seemed to ask.
Her eyes ,so beautiful, so pretty.They still had that spark.They could still captivate him.If only time would freeze!He wished.
But even now, he knew , he couldn't hold her back.
"A moment in time is all between you and me
A moment in time I will not let go"
He told in silence.
She got up to leave, praying he would call her back.
She walked away without looking back at him even once.Tears rolled down her cheeks.Why aren't the stars still not shining upon her.
He looked at the empty seat beside him,at the void in his life.He knew he couldn't survive it again..
"Ria,please don't leave me again".The silence broke.
The night sky sparkled with a million stars...
They sat there enjoying the beauty of the moment,enjoying each other's presence.
She was happy,very happy.This was a dream come true.Destiny or fate or the God whom she called upon every day had bought him next to her today.
She dared not look at him.She was apprehensive of facing her only dream. She was apprehensive of looking at the face that she had seen only with her heart all these years.
Silence..that vast ocean that had engulfed their lives prevailed.
Silence could speak and they had always spoken in silence.
The same silence with which they had acknowledged their feelings,the same silence with which she went away from his life, the same silence with which he watched her leave,unable to hold her back.
She wanted to hold his hands,to lock her fingers in his.But she dared not.What if that offended him?What if he got up and left?
He took her hands in his.Her heart skipped a beat.She looked into his eyes.She saw her face in them.
"Why did you leave me?"His eyes seemed to ask.
Her eyes ,so beautiful, so pretty.They still had that spark.They could still captivate him.If only time would freeze!He wished.
But even now, he knew , he couldn't hold her back.
"A moment in time is all between you and me
A moment in time I will not let go"
He told in silence.
She got up to leave, praying he would call her back.
She walked away without looking back at him even once.Tears rolled down her cheeks.Why aren't the stars still not shining upon her.
He looked at the empty seat beside him,at the void in his life.He knew he couldn't survive it again..
"Ria,please don't leave me again".The silence broke.
The night sky sparkled with a million stars...
Auto Madame????
I have never had an ill feeling towards auto drivers until I reached Bangalore.
My mind had always picturised them as the sweet person who took me to school and that of Sudhi(Played by mohanLal) in the malayalam flick'Aye auto'.
The whole idea has been distorted by the auto walas in Bangalore.
They are nothing but day light looters.
I agree there are many civilised,well mannered ones also here. But definitely none of the auto walas in front of Forum(either side)fall in this category.
There are ruffian and villain auto drivers in Kerala too, but definitely its worse here.
It's only here in Bangalore that they charge you more than double and triple the fare even at normal hours.
Once i couldn't help but laugh when an auto charged 100Rs where it would cost me the minimum just because that is the standard.
The same destination by the same route the same day has once costed me double the amount.
Once they realise you are not familiar with the route they take you on loooooong rides.
And when you try to argue with them,a sudden amnesia comes over them and they forget even the bits and pieces of hindi or english they Knew!!!
The most difficult part is sometimes getting an auto. We always have trouble getting one for our friend. We tell the auto drivers Koramangala 1st Block and they drive away faster than they came.
Don't fall for the politeness and gentleness with which they offer their service when you come out of Forum!!!
"Auto madame??".
Your wish is my command.I will take you wherever you want to go or so they sound.Just tell your destination and they turn their faces away and then they agree to do a meherbaani by taking you to where ever you want to go at double the price.
I live nearby,just walkable distance from office.:-) so when ever I hear that question "Auto madame??" I either say a sharp No!!Or completely ignore them.Oh!I feel the contentment of having won a battle
.
Once when we hired an auto and asked the driver to take us somewhere he didn't agree. He demanded extra and then half of that and then an extra on that!!After bargaining and arguing we asked him where exactly was he willing to take us on the normal fare. a little here and a little there and he finally told us he would drop us at some place.'Oh! That's great!'said my brother. 'Please go and come back yourself' ;-).And we went on our way.
Then there are an entirely different lot.They are harmless and not looters.Its the 'aap jaise logon ko chodne ke liye hi hum subah-subah ghar se nikalte hai' type. Their only problem is that they will entertain you throughout the trip with their questions and answers and comments and opinions and suggetsions.
"Madame aap shivraathri nahi manati???"
"Kyu??"
"madame aap musalmaan ho??"
"Madame tho aap burkha kyu nahi pehanti???"
My only saviour in such moments is my mobile...
My mind had always picturised them as the sweet person who took me to school and that of Sudhi(Played by mohanLal) in the malayalam flick'Aye auto'.
The whole idea has been distorted by the auto walas in Bangalore.
They are nothing but day light looters.
I agree there are many civilised,well mannered ones also here. But definitely none of the auto walas in front of Forum(either side)fall in this category.
There are ruffian and villain auto drivers in Kerala too, but definitely its worse here.
It's only here in Bangalore that they charge you more than double and triple the fare even at normal hours.
Once i couldn't help but laugh when an auto charged 100Rs where it would cost me the minimum just because that is the standard.
The same destination by the same route the same day has once costed me double the amount.
Once they realise you are not familiar with the route they take you on loooooong rides.
And when you try to argue with them,a sudden amnesia comes over them and they forget even the bits and pieces of hindi or english they Knew!!!
The most difficult part is sometimes getting an auto. We always have trouble getting one for our friend. We tell the auto drivers Koramangala 1st Block and they drive away faster than they came.
Don't fall for the politeness and gentleness with which they offer their service when you come out of Forum!!!
"Auto madame??".
Your wish is my command.I will take you wherever you want to go or so they sound.Just tell your destination and they turn their faces away and then they agree to do a meherbaani by taking you to where ever you want to go at double the price.
I live nearby,just walkable distance from office.:-) so when ever I hear that question "Auto madame??" I either say a sharp No!!Or completely ignore them.Oh!I feel the contentment of having won a battle
.
Once when we hired an auto and asked the driver to take us somewhere he didn't agree. He demanded extra and then half of that and then an extra on that!!After bargaining and arguing we asked him where exactly was he willing to take us on the normal fare. a little here and a little there and he finally told us he would drop us at some place.'Oh! That's great!'said my brother. 'Please go and come back yourself' ;-).And we went on our way.
Then there are an entirely different lot.They are harmless and not looters.Its the 'aap jaise logon ko chodne ke liye hi hum subah-subah ghar se nikalte hai' type. Their only problem is that they will entertain you throughout the trip with their questions and answers and comments and opinions and suggetsions.
"Madame aap shivraathri nahi manati???"
"Kyu??"
"madame aap musalmaan ho??"
"Madame tho aap burkha kyu nahi pehanti???"
My only saviour in such moments is my mobile...
A short flash back
It's 2 years since i am in Bangalore.
But i still feel like my first day here
This city is still a stranger to me and im still trying desperately to find my niche here.
Nothing has changed in the last 2 years.
I still know only Koramangala area and ofcourse Brigade and MG road.
I still havent learnt kannada. The only line i know even now is'Kannada Gothilla'
I have grown from a fresher to a senior software engineer(Well, there is another 2 months to go!!!) and I still haven't learnt c++(I hope my manager does not see this!!!;-))
I have put on 10Kgs.Still I fit into some of the old clothes(Thanks to my tailor who altered every stitch ;-))
I still watch movies at the minimum rate of one per week.
I like ranbir kapoor.Still Shahrukh rules my heart and i still watch DDLJ on a regular basis.
I still cry whenever i leave home after a weekend.
And I am still as confused and insane as ever.
Well,no complaints!!!Changes always make me nervous..
But i still feel like my first day here
This city is still a stranger to me and im still trying desperately to find my niche here.
Nothing has changed in the last 2 years.
I still know only Koramangala area and ofcourse Brigade and MG road.
I still havent learnt kannada. The only line i know even now is'Kannada Gothilla'
I have grown from a fresher to a senior software engineer(Well, there is another 2 months to go!!!) and I still haven't learnt c++(I hope my manager does not see this!!!;-))
I have put on 10Kgs.Still I fit into some of the old clothes(Thanks to my tailor who altered every stitch ;-))
I still watch movies at the minimum rate of one per week.
I like ranbir kapoor.Still Shahrukh rules my heart and i still watch DDLJ on a regular basis.
I still cry whenever i leave home after a weekend.
And I am still as confused and insane as ever.
Well,no complaints!!!Changes always make me nervous..
Thursday, July 17, 2008
BALCONY HOUSEFULL!!!
Last week while I was in calicut,I went for a movie.
I had been looking forward to watching it ever since i got a fwd mail about it. It is a malayalam movie about a group of young software engineers.Perhaps atleast the story of reel life software engineers wouldn't be as pathetic as real life!!!It was a total surprise to me that the movie had been released in theaters by the time i had come home(Unfortunately i didnt know it had released only a day before;-( . Unfortunate because getting tickts wouldn't be that easy)
I reached the theatre just half an hour befor the show.My sister's doubts of getting the tickets echoed in my ears as i stepped inside.
But wait!There was hardly anybody there. No big queue and crowd as I anticipated.
Now I am surely going to get the tickets.I was happy ;-).Only then did my eyes fell on the board kept at the counter.And those 2 words loomed in front of my eyes. BALCONY HOUSEFUL.
Sigh! I will have to wait till it comes in PVR.With a broken heart, I decided to return home.The 30Rs ticket seats were not a comfortable option for 2 girls.
That's when i heard that..
'Balcony , Balcony...'
A black ticketeer! Oh My God!!A criminal!What should I do?Run away from there?Pretend not to have seen taht guy??Or is it okay if i bought the tickets in black just this one time?But what if i am caught by police?Will I be jailed?And the humiliation that would follow??
I was scared.But the temptation to watch the movie was overwhelming.
He charged double the ticket fare.But,it would still work out cheaper for me compared to the rates at PVR.
I bought the tickets quickly.Took a slip from him and handed him the cash,without even checking the slip. The deal was over.I just wanted it to end soon.
I pocketed the slip, looked around making sure that no one had seen me.
It's only then i took a peak at the slip.And Lo! i had been fooled. That jerk had given me the reservation coupen for the next show.I had paid him double the money and been fooled.
More than the humiliation of being fooled, I was feeling bad about not being able to watch the movie.
I decded to try my luck at the counter . Initially the guy at the counter showed all his 'nakhraas'.
"Madame, its not possible..This is a coupen for the next show!!We dont have tickets"
and so and so and so..
But finally he agreed and i got the tickets..;-)
But wait!I thought the BALCONY was HOUSEFULL ;-)
Whatever! we watched the movie...
I had been looking forward to watching it ever since i got a fwd mail about it. It is a malayalam movie about a group of young software engineers.Perhaps atleast the story of reel life software engineers wouldn't be as pathetic as real life!!!It was a total surprise to me that the movie had been released in theaters by the time i had come home(Unfortunately i didnt know it had released only a day before;-( . Unfortunate because getting tickts wouldn't be that easy)
I reached the theatre just half an hour befor the show.My sister's doubts of getting the tickets echoed in my ears as i stepped inside.
But wait!There was hardly anybody there. No big queue and crowd as I anticipated.
Now I am surely going to get the tickets.I was happy ;-).Only then did my eyes fell on the board kept at the counter.And those 2 words loomed in front of my eyes. BALCONY HOUSEFUL.
Sigh! I will have to wait till it comes in PVR.With a broken heart, I decided to return home.The 30Rs ticket seats were not a comfortable option for 2 girls.
That's when i heard that..
'Balcony , Balcony...'
A black ticketeer! Oh My God!!A criminal!What should I do?Run away from there?Pretend not to have seen taht guy??Or is it okay if i bought the tickets in black just this one time?But what if i am caught by police?Will I be jailed?And the humiliation that would follow??
I was scared.But the temptation to watch the movie was overwhelming.
He charged double the ticket fare.But,it would still work out cheaper for me compared to the rates at PVR.
I bought the tickets quickly.Took a slip from him and handed him the cash,without even checking the slip. The deal was over.I just wanted it to end soon.
I pocketed the slip, looked around making sure that no one had seen me.
It's only then i took a peak at the slip.And Lo! i had been fooled. That jerk had given me the reservation coupen for the next show.I had paid him double the money and been fooled.
More than the humiliation of being fooled, I was feeling bad about not being able to watch the movie.
I decded to try my luck at the counter . Initially the guy at the counter showed all his 'nakhraas'.
"Madame, its not possible..This is a coupen for the next show!!We dont have tickets"
and so and so and so..
But finally he agreed and i got the tickets..;-)
But wait!I thought the BALCONY was HOUSEFULL ;-)
Whatever! we watched the movie...
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
When you are not there.....
When you are not there
I don't know what to do ,
what to say
When you are not there,
I'm all alone,I'm lost
When you are not there
There's nothing i can do right.
I can't smile, I can't cry
I can't sing, I can't play
When you are not there,
I simply can't live.
The winds don't blow
The stars don't shine
When you are not there,
Even the flowers don't bloom
The fragrance of the day,
The beauty of the night
When you are not there,
They don't mean a thing..
When you are not there,
I simply can't live.....
I don't know what to do ,
what to say
When you are not there,
I'm all alone,I'm lost
When you are not there
There's nothing i can do right.
I can't smile, I can't cry
I can't sing, I can't play
When you are not there,
I simply can't live.
The winds don't blow
The stars don't shine
When you are not there,
Even the flowers don't bloom
The fragrance of the day,
The beauty of the night
When you are not there,
They don't mean a thing..
When you are not there,
I simply can't live.....
Monday, June 23, 2008
The Swiss Experience...
I am at a loss of words as I attempt to describe the mesmerising Schweitzer land. It’s like trying to describe a beautiful dream that I had seen. I may never be able to phrase it aptly to depict it in its entirety. I hope my words can convey at least a little of the magic it has bestowed upon me
The snow capped Alps and lovely cows grazing on lush green meadows.. This is the picture of Swiss I had always had in my mind . Not to mention the beautiful cow bells(Yes!Of course it's the DDLJ influence on my imagination)
When i got to visit the country last year,it was indeed a dream come true.
Thrill filled my heart as a cool breeze blew across my face at the Zurich airport. I was about to walk the lanes of my dreams, as they say, under blue skies and amidst green grass.
But what lay before me was even more beautiful than my dreams………
Beautiful landscapes, mountains cloaked in snow and vegetation, serene lakes and chirpy glacial streams...
They were all a treat for my hungry senses. I was in the heart of nature and it touched a chord deep inside.
Like a sweet melody , like a beautiful painting , the magic remains alive in me, even long after its experienceI felt I were inside a painting. Bright and vibrant colours greeted my eyes everywhere.The vegetation varyied in shade from green to yellow to brown and then from pink to purple to red. The autumn weather had waved its magic wand all around..
The cool breeze that blew carried the tinkle of the cowbells .
The Alps could be seen towering above from all sides,with the snow and the clouds nearly undistinguishable on the top. They reminded me of an undaunted warrior. a saviour, a protector , a guardian.
The streams like small kids, ran about singing their own songs, finding their way through rough rocks with the same ease as flowing on velvety meadows, perturbed by nothing and simply enjoying their being.
The lakes were more or less like an elegant lady, well mannered, calm and stylish.
The sky , very dynamic and active, like a poised gentleman.
WellKnit transportation and well organised information centres made the journey even more convenient and enjoyable.
From Zurich airport, we took a train and came to interlakenInterlaken is a beautiful place locked between the 2lakes, the Thuner see and the Brenner see.
On the first day, we went around interlaken partly on foot and partly on bicycle.We then visited the ThummelBach falls. A unique combination of 10 cascade waterfalls.The place, like
the rest of Swiss, is a valley within the Alps, lush green grass sprawled all over with small streams meandering through.
The next day we visited Niesen.One could take the world's longest stairway to reach
the top. We , though, preferred to take the rail track that lay parallel. As we went higher and higher,even higher above the clouds, we could also see the staircase winding its way up.Wilhelmwil is a beautiful place near interlaken.Here we took a mountain train to explore around, a reminder of the bygone days and it carried us amidst the pine covered alps
On the third day we visited the JungFrauHoch.Power and the pride of having it, that’s the feeling
Jung FrauJoch instilled in me.What pleasure to be on top of Europe! 3494m above sea
level! To be in the snow and ice, at -1.5degree C and with snowfall and rain drenching you!
It seemed to me the sun was fighting to penetrate the thick fog, and the snow seemed equally determeined to reflect every ray back. The friendly quarrel together with the whiteness of the snow gave the ambience a divine aura.The JungFrauHoch had much more to offer.We took a train from Lauterbrunnen to the JungFrauHoch which travelled through the alps.At the top we walked through the icecaves,It was like walking through a freezer.On top of the Hoch is also present a museum of beautiful animal carvings done in ice
My final place of visit was Muren. First a train journey to Lauterbrunnen (The places and the scenes were by now very familiar but I could not still take my eyes or mind off them) and then a cable car to the top of the mountain.
Interlaken also had some exciting games to offer,like
paragliding,bungee jumping etc.And how could a travellogue about swiss end without a
mention of the swiss chocolates.Hmm!!the taste still lingers.Need I say more???
And all of you shopping fanatics like me, you get to buy the best and the most beautiful watches here.
Switzerland has been a very lovely experience
For some snaps....
Sunday, June 22, 2008
A few words...
Swiftly blew the breeze of time
Softly fell the leaves of memory
Before i could pick a few, they blew past me....
Lost souls searching their destiny!!!
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Shower from the Heavens
I watched the rains, as they poured hard against my window.
It was raining heavily, too heavily. A distressed soul pouring her heart out! A heavy drop made its mark on my heart and the pain I hid deep inside shot out. If you ask me what the pain is I have no particular answer. I am one of those eccentric Pisceans, who can simply sit and cry. I depress myself for nothing and also rejoice for almost nothing.
There is always calmness after a heavy downpour and today watching the rains, I could feel the same. The unknown grief within me was slowly eroding away. The rains were washing away my grief. It’s so much relieving, so much comforting after the heart has poured out its agony. An unknown, inexplicable bliss!
As the last drop of the rains splashed the wet earth, a tear sparkled in my eyes.
The fragrance of the fresh earth permeated my soul, and I drew courage from the unknown force to carry on this little game called Life.
A dark cloud silhouetted in the velvety sky drew a silver lining.
The rains, from the heavens they came, carried me in their arms and took my pain with them.
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